Besides the impending doom that IS my mom coming to visit next weekend (ha ha, just kidding, er....) I'm struggling with a much bigger milestone this month holds. The due date of the baby I lost in August/September. March 28th. Could have been an amazing day.
I can't help myself, but these thoughts will suddenly pop into my mind at the most random and emotionally crappy moments:
If we hadn't lost the baby, we would have already had the baby showers. Our spare room would be all decorated as a nursery instead of just a spare bedroom/giant walk in closet. (We call it the "closet room" somedays lol)
My mom wouldn't be flying out for three days to celebrate my birthday, she would be coming out for two weeks to help us with the new baby. (It would probably be too much time with mummy dearest but also very much appreciated I'm guessing)
I would have this big ol' pregnant belly, feeling it wiggle and kick (My bladder, spleen, ribs... ok ouch but also amazing)
Scott and I would be discussing the birth plan (home, water birth!) and baptisms and time off work.
We wouldn't be defending our choice for surrogacy to people right and left. We wouldn't be just a couple. We would be a family.
I know, I can play the "what if" game until I'm blue in the face. But it's poignant to realize that this would-have, should-have, could-have been a month that would change our lives forever.
Yes, I feel confident and hopeful about the possibilities of surrogacy. But I have to acknowledge my sadness that we lost a child. That is what it is to us. Some people would say it was a bunch of cells, or the idea of a child. After all when the miscarriage finally happened there was nothing to differentiate it from a normal period except my medical record of failing blood tests and it's delay. But to us, it was our child.
Little child, I'm sorry we never got to meet. Look into each others eyes and nuzzle noses. I'm sorry I never got to rock you, or sing to you, or snug you into bed. Read you stories, push you on a swing, take you to your first day of school.
I don't know what else to say.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Clarifying Some Points
So after a lot of stress and over-analyzing the impending conversation with our priest, we survived completely intact.
I don't know why I have to worry so much sometimes.
It really was a great chance to clarify a number of points/issues/questions both Scott and I had. I asked about Father S's statement that the church didn't have a stance. While the Orthodox church doesn't have anything strictly written out, generally theologians disagree with surrogacy. But Father M explained it is NOT a sin, or bad or evil and it doesn't make us bad people. (YIPPEE!) A lot of what the conversation came down to was the fact that 1-he is walking into our journey nearly 2 years in. He hasn't seen us patiently waiting, praying etc. He hasn't seen the emotional, psychological, spiritual roller coaster we have been on. And 2- his greatest concern is that we are keeping the focus on God, and being obedient and open to His Will.
Both Scott and I walked away with a better understanding, and also feeling good about moving forward with surrogacy. I honestly can't imagine going back to the obsessive charting, multiple vaginal ultrasounds a month, forced sex etc. It is worth is - if I really thought it would help. But it was really hard on our marriage and at this point we feel like if the two of us are going to conceive it will be 100% a God thing and will happen whether or not we make ourselves miserable trying so hard.
Did pretty good on the diet front and went for a walk with my friend Bee this afternoon :) Now I just wanna curl up and sip some hot cocoa (ok, not really Paleo, but I WANT some comfort food-thing) and chill out. Being stressed is really exhausting.
Of course then I get to thinking that my mom will be here about a week and the stress comes back. But that's a worry for another day.
Oh- and my roommate is being really annoying and opening/closing a drawer or closet repeatedly. It's actually probably her 2 year old daughter, but stop the kid! I can hear it downstairs and it is obnoxious.
I don't know why I have to worry so much sometimes.
It really was a great chance to clarify a number of points/issues/questions both Scott and I had. I asked about Father S's statement that the church didn't have a stance. While the Orthodox church doesn't have anything strictly written out, generally theologians disagree with surrogacy. But Father M explained it is NOT a sin, or bad or evil and it doesn't make us bad people. (YIPPEE!) A lot of what the conversation came down to was the fact that 1-he is walking into our journey nearly 2 years in. He hasn't seen us patiently waiting, praying etc. He hasn't seen the emotional, psychological, spiritual roller coaster we have been on. And 2- his greatest concern is that we are keeping the focus on God, and being obedient and open to His Will.
Both Scott and I walked away with a better understanding, and also feeling good about moving forward with surrogacy. I honestly can't imagine going back to the obsessive charting, multiple vaginal ultrasounds a month, forced sex etc. It is worth is - if I really thought it would help. But it was really hard on our marriage and at this point we feel like if the two of us are going to conceive it will be 100% a God thing and will happen whether or not we make ourselves miserable trying so hard.
Did pretty good on the diet front and went for a walk with my friend Bee this afternoon :) Now I just wanna curl up and sip some hot cocoa (ok, not really Paleo, but I WANT some comfort food-thing) and chill out. Being stressed is really exhausting.
Of course then I get to thinking that my mom will be here about a week and the stress comes back. But that's a worry for another day.
Oh- and my roommate is being really annoying and opening/closing a drawer or closet repeatedly. It's actually probably her 2 year old daughter, but stop the kid! I can hear it downstairs and it is obnoxious.
Friday, March 4, 2011
A weird conversation
Today I went with my friend T to her riding lesson today, and as she was warming up her trainer and I got to talking. We have met a few times when I have been hanging out with T so generally speaking, I like her. She asked me if I was thinking of buying a horse again and I explained that was highly unlikely at the moment since we were trying to start a family and were pursuing surrogacy because we couldn't have a baby ourselves. Her response?
"Oh, yeah, I've thought that that's how I would do it when I have kids! I wouldn't want to have to stop riding, it's my livelihood."
Now, I understand riding horses is her sole means of income. And as far as I am aware she isn't dating anyone and I know she isn't married. And is not really considering having kids in the near future. But... Seriously?! That is the exact stereotype we are trying to fight against, wealthy women hiring surrogates for aesthetic reasons.
I was struck dumb you guys. Seriously, no words. I mumbled something about how we really wanted to try to have a baby ourselves but couldn't, and then changed the subject.
(On a side note, I know that riding during pregnancy is a highly debated topic. If I was pregnant? I probably would ride for as long as I felt able, but there is some concern about the jarring of the trot/jog causing damages. And of course if you will be doing any jumping or working with unknown/fractious horses there is real concerns with falling/kicking etc. A trainer [especially this trainer would be doing jumping and working with unknown horses] would be wise to limit riding during pregnancy although I would think she could continue teaching lessons)
"Oh, yeah, I've thought that that's how I would do it when I have kids! I wouldn't want to have to stop riding, it's my livelihood."
Now, I understand riding horses is her sole means of income. And as far as I am aware she isn't dating anyone and I know she isn't married. And is not really considering having kids in the near future. But... Seriously?! That is the exact stereotype we are trying to fight against, wealthy women hiring surrogates for aesthetic reasons.
I was struck dumb you guys. Seriously, no words. I mumbled something about how we really wanted to try to have a baby ourselves but couldn't, and then changed the subject.
(On a side note, I know that riding during pregnancy is a highly debated topic. If I was pregnant? I probably would ride for as long as I felt able, but there is some concern about the jarring of the trot/jog causing damages. And of course if you will be doing any jumping or working with unknown/fractious horses there is real concerns with falling/kicking etc. A trainer [especially this trainer would be doing jumping and working with unknown horses] would be wise to limit riding during pregnancy although I would think she could continue teaching lessons)
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Random Blond Moment
So after spending all of J's naps writing my earlier post, checking my facebook and email, and trying to catch up on all the blogs I read (24!!! I just counted them. Although not all post frequently) I was sitting here thinking "wow, my eyes hurt. I guess I will zoom in a bit on the internet windows....
oh wait. I have glasses I could wear!"
About a month or so back I lost my glasses. Could. Not. Find. Them. Tore the house apart, searched all over work, texted friends to check their homes. Nada.
So I bit the big bullet and went to get new glasses. My prescription was expired which meant I had to get a whole new exam (yay insurance) but the actual glasses would be all on me (stupid insurance doesn't cover materials. Only the exam). I tried hard not to buy the most expensive pair, but I didn't want old-lady-ugly glasses either. Almost $350 later, my new glasses were ordered.
The following Friday my friend A texted me to tell me she had found my glasses in J's room. He must have nabbed them and played with them one time when I was visiting.
Well... crap. Can't get refunds on glasses. At least I have a back-up pair now. *sigh*
But the funny thing is, even though I get eye strain/headaches from not wearing my glasses, after being without them for so long.... I kind of forget I HAVE them.
Yes people. I am a natural blond.
oh wait. I have glasses I could wear!"
About a month or so back I lost my glasses. Could. Not. Find. Them. Tore the house apart, searched all over work, texted friends to check their homes. Nada.
So I bit the big bullet and went to get new glasses. My prescription was expired which meant I had to get a whole new exam (yay insurance) but the actual glasses would be all on me (stupid insurance doesn't cover materials. Only the exam). I tried hard not to buy the most expensive pair, but I didn't want old-lady-ugly glasses either. Almost $350 later, my new glasses were ordered.
The following Friday my friend A texted me to tell me she had found my glasses in J's room. He must have nabbed them and played with them one time when I was visiting.
Well... crap. Can't get refunds on glasses. At least I have a back-up pair now. *sigh*
But the funny thing is, even though I get eye strain/headaches from not wearing my glasses, after being without them for so long.... I kind of forget I HAVE them.
Yes people. I am a natural blond.
Fill In The _________
I figured I needed to write something new so here's what I've been up to, the last two days. Waking up at 4:30 in the morning to drive over to my friend A's, so she can get to her early shift at work by 5, and watch my Godson J... and "his" 6 (7?) week old puppy named Loki. I'm not sure which is more exhausting. (I think it's the dog)
Since I get there so early I crash on the couch for a couple hours until J wakes up and starts his "I'm hungry and awake!" noises. I also try to remember to take the puppy out every hour to minimize the amount of messes I clean up. After J is up for 2-3 hours he goes down for a nap until lunch time. I absolutely adore my Godson and really enjoy my time spent over here (plus the inevitable time A and I get to spend once she gets home around 2-3. She was one of my bridesmaids and is one of Scott's oldest friends) In a lot of ways, A and I couldn't be more different. When it comes to opinions of parent relationships (as in how we view our own parents, not parenting J), theology, how many pets is too many.... But I absolutely luv her. We've had some great debates on all these topics and more and usually just come to a place where we agree to disagree but it hasn't ever hurt our friendship. She knows me so well, and I know her so well, we can have entire paragraphs of information transmitted via a look.
She has always been really supportive of me and all the random things I do. I just really appreciate having her in my life. And getting crazy-fun-days with J :)
Other than that, last night Rachel and the person that introduced us - Elizabeth! - had a girls night and ate salads and watched "Due Date" with Robert Downer Jr. It was nice to just hang out, inevitably the conversation turned to relationships (hello, what girls night doesn't???) and there was a good amount of laughter. There was an impressive absence of chocolate and ice cream, which is all for the better really.
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I have to admit I have a LOT of random thoughts bumping around my head today but I don't want to write them all out. Part of it is that some of it I have written before. And since my blog is only a few weeks old, nothing I have written was THAT long ago. Part of it I can't really put into words in a way that I would like it to. So I guess I'll keep contemplating and write it out as I figure out how.
My train-of-conciousness goes something like this:
My friends (T, L, Elizabeth, E.M., M.G., ....) A, J, Rachel (happy, hope, optimism), talking with Father M (Not sure what that will look like and the unknown is scary), Scott, babies, babies and more babies, J, A.... throw in random thoughts about what the heck are we going to do when our lease ends and how I really need to find a new job.... and that's what's going on in my head.
Since I get there so early I crash on the couch for a couple hours until J wakes up and starts his "I'm hungry and awake!" noises. I also try to remember to take the puppy out every hour to minimize the amount of messes I clean up. After J is up for 2-3 hours he goes down for a nap until lunch time. I absolutely adore my Godson and really enjoy my time spent over here (plus the inevitable time A and I get to spend once she gets home around 2-3. She was one of my bridesmaids and is one of Scott's oldest friends) In a lot of ways, A and I couldn't be more different. When it comes to opinions of parent relationships (as in how we view our own parents, not parenting J), theology, how many pets is too many.... But I absolutely luv her. We've had some great debates on all these topics and more and usually just come to a place where we agree to disagree but it hasn't ever hurt our friendship. She knows me so well, and I know her so well, we can have entire paragraphs of information transmitted via a look.
She has always been really supportive of me and all the random things I do. I just really appreciate having her in my life. And getting crazy-fun-days with J :)
Other than that, last night Rachel and the person that introduced us - Elizabeth! - had a girls night and ate salads and watched "Due Date" with Robert Downer Jr. It was nice to just hang out, inevitably the conversation turned to relationships (hello, what girls night doesn't???) and there was a good amount of laughter. There was an impressive absence of chocolate and ice cream, which is all for the better really.
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I have to admit I have a LOT of random thoughts bumping around my head today but I don't want to write them all out. Part of it is that some of it I have written before. And since my blog is only a few weeks old, nothing I have written was THAT long ago. Part of it I can't really put into words in a way that I would like it to. So I guess I'll keep contemplating and write it out as I figure out how.
My train-of-conciousness goes something like this:
My friends (T, L, Elizabeth, E.M., M.G., ....) A, J, Rachel (happy, hope, optimism), talking with Father M (Not sure what that will look like and the unknown is scary), Scott, babies, babies and more babies, J, A.... throw in random thoughts about what the heck are we going to do when our lease ends and how I really need to find a new job.... and that's what's going on in my head.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Making My Stand
I have been thinking about what will happen if Rachel ends up with an absolute BFN. Like I've said before, I like my plans, my ducks-in-a-row. I lay awake at night thinking about all the possible outcomes and what my plans are for each of them. So now, I must get it out and stop the insomnia.
Don't get me wrong, if we aren't pregnant, we will try again. (Assuming Rachel wants to of course) And I don't hold Rachel "responsible", I truly hope she wont feel guilt or any negativity. She is doing all anyone can ask, and more!
But here is where it gets.... sticky. If you read the "Faith" post from February, you already know that our new church, the Orthodox Church, does not agree with surrogacy. As we are only just still Catechumens, we are not held to the same standards as a regular Chrismated member. And when we sat down with our priest, he basically stated that since we had already done the ICI he didn't want us to feel bad or regret the decision and that if a baby was conceived it would be welcomed and loved. But he also said that now that we did know, if Rachel didn't conceive that we would all sit down and talk before moving forward with another try.
I don't want my dreams of a family to come between me and my faith. Up until this point I haven't had a single issue with the theology in the Orthodox Church. I can't imagine going back to a Protestant church now. But... I can't even tell you how much I do NOT want to sit down and have a theological debate with my priest. Because at the end of the day, he has to side with his Church. I get that. I don't look down on him for that. The classic country song says it "You've got to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything". But what do you do when the thing you stand for is at opposition to something so vital to you?
It's tough because I know we will move forward with trying again. Doing closer charting and an ovulation predictor kit. I feel that this is the right choice for us. And I feel like I have theological reasons and backing.
I've never been good at the "blindly following". Or maybe it is because I am a knee-jerk-blindly-follower, innocently gullible person... My mom was always worried I would perhaps get sucked into some cool-aid drinking cult, and so really impressed upon me to question, and learn. So while some might say that if Orthodoxy is my future, that I should just listen to the good Priest and be a good girl and all that. But I can't. For better or worse it is who I am. Fighting off my gullibility. Some say I am overly liberal, stubborn, obstinate, rebellious. I don't mean to be, I'm just following my heart.
On a completely separate topic, I am down 6.5 pounds, WOO HOO go Paleo! However, today I got hit really hard with cravings for junk food. And I was hanging out at my friend T's house, where we made double-chocolate-guinness-brownies last week and there were some still left... We made a healthy dinner of chicken stir fry, had some nuts and dried fruit, but I couldn't make the craving go away. Technically, I was full, but with my history of food addiction my craving for that brownie had nothing to do with fullness. (I've eaten half a pie in a single sitting before... not something I'm proud of) The me a year or two ago would have said "Screw it, I'm eating the brownie. I've been so good the last couple of days, and one brownie isn't going to ruin everything". But tonight, I CONCURRED! I WON! I did NOT eat the brownie. I compromised and had some chai, which I know has milk so isn't Paleo in the strictest sense, but tea has to be better than the brownie... I got my "warm sweet fix" and don't feel heavy with guilt, shame, and an extreme excess of calories. I really can't tell you all what an accomplishment that was for me. I know that if I can just get through two weeks most of my junk cravings should go away, and then when I do have a brownie it will be because I make an intentional choice instead of giving into a craving like some drug addict looking for a "fix". (And for those who want to bash comparing a brownie craving to a drug addict, that is what food addiction IS people. I've never done drugs, but when you talk to a psychologist they are comparable. If anything, they say food addiction is worse because you can logically say "I will never do that drug again" whereas I cannot say "I will never eat again" because my body needs nourishment and food to survive. The difference is instead of destroying my skin/hair/teeth, my addiction has made me a size 22.) Anyway, didn't mean to go off on a rant. I need to get some sleep now that I've finally gotten the thoughts that have been floating around my head out andonto paper the internet. I have to get up at 4:30 to babysit my Godson tomorrow morning :) Always fun!
Don't get me wrong, if we aren't pregnant, we will try again. (Assuming Rachel wants to of course) And I don't hold Rachel "responsible", I truly hope she wont feel guilt or any negativity. She is doing all anyone can ask, and more!
But here is where it gets.... sticky. If you read the "Faith" post from February, you already know that our new church, the Orthodox Church, does not agree with surrogacy. As we are only just still Catechumens, we are not held to the same standards as a regular Chrismated member. And when we sat down with our priest, he basically stated that since we had already done the ICI he didn't want us to feel bad or regret the decision and that if a baby was conceived it would be welcomed and loved. But he also said that now that we did know, if Rachel didn't conceive that we would all sit down and talk before moving forward with another try.
I don't want my dreams of a family to come between me and my faith. Up until this point I haven't had a single issue with the theology in the Orthodox Church. I can't imagine going back to a Protestant church now. But... I can't even tell you how much I do NOT want to sit down and have a theological debate with my priest. Because at the end of the day, he has to side with his Church. I get that. I don't look down on him for that. The classic country song says it "You've got to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything". But what do you do when the thing you stand for is at opposition to something so vital to you?
It's tough because I know we will move forward with trying again. Doing closer charting and an ovulation predictor kit. I feel that this is the right choice for us. And I feel like I have theological reasons and backing.
I've never been good at the "blindly following". Or maybe it is because I am a knee-jerk-blindly-follower, innocently gullible person... My mom was always worried I would perhaps get sucked into some cool-aid drinking cult, and so really impressed upon me to question, and learn. So while some might say that if Orthodoxy is my future, that I should just listen to the good Priest and be a good girl and all that. But I can't. For better or worse it is who I am. Fighting off my gullibility. Some say I am overly liberal, stubborn, obstinate, rebellious. I don't mean to be, I'm just following my heart.
On a completely separate topic, I am down 6.5 pounds, WOO HOO go Paleo! However, today I got hit really hard with cravings for junk food. And I was hanging out at my friend T's house, where we made double-chocolate-guinness-brownies last week and there were some still left... We made a healthy dinner of chicken stir fry, had some nuts and dried fruit, but I couldn't make the craving go away. Technically, I was full, but with my history of food addiction my craving for that brownie had nothing to do with fullness. (I've eaten half a pie in a single sitting before... not something I'm proud of) The me a year or two ago would have said "Screw it, I'm eating the brownie. I've been so good the last couple of days, and one brownie isn't going to ruin everything". But tonight, I CONCURRED! I WON! I did NOT eat the brownie. I compromised and had some chai, which I know has milk so isn't Paleo in the strictest sense, but tea has to be better than the brownie... I got my "warm sweet fix" and don't feel heavy with guilt, shame, and an extreme excess of calories. I really can't tell you all what an accomplishment that was for me. I know that if I can just get through two weeks most of my junk cravings should go away, and then when I do have a brownie it will be because I make an intentional choice instead of giving into a craving like some drug addict looking for a "fix". (And for those who want to bash comparing a brownie craving to a drug addict, that is what food addiction IS people. I've never done drugs, but when you talk to a psychologist they are comparable. If anything, they say food addiction is worse because you can logically say "I will never do that drug again" whereas I cannot say "I will never eat again" because my body needs nourishment and food to survive. The difference is instead of destroying my skin/hair/teeth, my addiction has made me a size 22.) Anyway, didn't mean to go off on a rant. I need to get some sleep now that I've finally gotten the thoughts that have been floating around my head out and
Let's play 20 questions!
A little fun and frivolity...
I've been tagged by Josey at http://mycheapversionoftherapy.blogspot.com/
Rule #1: the tagged person must write their answers on their blog and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
Rule #2: tag 4 people to do this quiz; they cannot refuse (ok, so nothing bad will happen if you don’t participate but I would love to see your answers). The tag-ee must state who tagged them.
1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are they members of your family? Yes I have animals. And while they do occasionally sleep on my bed, they are most definitely animals. My oldest dog is 12 and has pretty sever arthritis. I am constantly watching him for signs of discomfort that his current medication is no longer working and we will humanely euthanize him. To try to keep them alive while miserable because we can't say goodbye is far less humane. As a a veterinary technician I see animals suffering because their owners see them as "members of the family". And I've seen people put their own children in danger because they can't see how dangerous their dogs are because they think of their dogs as their "babies". Sorry, soapbox...
2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?
Besides having a healthy baby? Twins!
3. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Buy a new car. And a cute little house. And a horse! And a new car for my friend B. Maybe a big vacation since Scott and I haven't been on a real vacation since our honeymoon. Padagonia, the UK, Germany, Russia....
4. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
Talking to my best friend E, my hubby calling me "babydoll", horseback riding (when the opportunity arises), singing, a shower w/ candles and aromatherapy.
5. What is your bedtime routine?
Depends on whether Scott is home or not, but let the dogs out one last time, use bathroom, brush teeth, let dogs back in, sit in bed and either read or surf the web for a bit, then put on my "sleep" play list on my iTunes.
6. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your significant other?
Met our first year of college back in fall of '03. Started dating December '03. And we just kept making it work :)
7. What kind of books do you read?
Looooots. Most recently the Black dagger Brotherhood series, Sookie Stackhouse series, currently reading an anthropological work titled "Birthing a Mother" about surrogacy in Israel. I also enjoy religious/theological books.
8. How do you see yourself in 10 years?
That would make me 35 so... hopefully with kids, a house and a job I am enjoying working at.
9. What’s your fear?
As in my greatest fear? Falling from a tall height but not dieing immediately on impact, having to lay there in agony and die slowly. General fears, I don't like spiders.
10. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to see outer space?
Well, I hate flying in a normal plane, so I think a space ship would be even worse so.... seeing space isn't really listed on my "bucket list" so I will go with no. But there are other things I would give up junk food for.
11. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Let the dogs outside, pee, step on the scale, write the number on the calendar to track my weight loss.
12. If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be?
I wish he would help out with chores more. But I know it's a guy thing...
13. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
Nah, I like my name. Although I remember in the 1st grade wishing my name was "Zebra" What was I thinking?! Hahahaha!
14. If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose?
I would choose rain :) I miss the Northwest, nice temperate climate and plenty of green.
15. If you could have one skill that you don't currently have, what would it be?
I wish I was better with budgeting. And making soup.
16. What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most?
I'm copying this from Josey because she summed it up so well: The friendships and support and understanding you all have for my (our) situations. You're amazing.
17. Do you prefer salty or sweet foods?
Sweet. But not too sweet.
18. What items are in your purse right now?
wallet. eyeglasses. sunglasses. pen. random assorted receipts.
19. If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go?
Beach. I grew up boating and miss it!
20. What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn’t?
Technically we don't have cable so anything I watch I have to watch via internet, or rent the DVD's. I probably shouldn't watch any of it, but here is my guilty pleasure list: America's Next Top Model, Hellcats, Big Bang Theory, True Blood... I've seen snippets of Vampire Diaries and How I Met Your Mother and think I would like to watch those too.
The four people I tag are: Um, I don't know enough people in blogland yet to tag them. So feel free to do this just for fun :)
I've been tagged by Josey at http://mycheapversionoftherapy.blogspot.com/
Rule #1: the tagged person must write their answers on their blog and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
Rule #2: tag 4 people to do this quiz; they cannot refuse (ok, so nothing bad will happen if you don’t participate but I would love to see your answers). The tag-ee must state who tagged them.
1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are they members of your family? Yes I have animals. And while they do occasionally sleep on my bed, they are most definitely animals. My oldest dog is 12 and has pretty sever arthritis. I am constantly watching him for signs of discomfort that his current medication is no longer working and we will humanely euthanize him. To try to keep them alive while miserable because we can't say goodbye is far less humane. As a a veterinary technician I see animals suffering because their owners see them as "members of the family". And I've seen people put their own children in danger because they can't see how dangerous their dogs are because they think of their dogs as their "babies". Sorry, soapbox...
2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?
Besides having a healthy baby? Twins!
3. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Buy a new car. And a cute little house. And a horse! And a new car for my friend B. Maybe a big vacation since Scott and I haven't been on a real vacation since our honeymoon. Padagonia, the UK, Germany, Russia....
4. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
Talking to my best friend E, my hubby calling me "babydoll", horseback riding (when the opportunity arises), singing, a shower w/ candles and aromatherapy.
5. What is your bedtime routine?
Depends on whether Scott is home or not, but let the dogs out one last time, use bathroom, brush teeth, let dogs back in, sit in bed and either read or surf the web for a bit, then put on my "sleep" play list on my iTunes.
6. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your significant other?
Met our first year of college back in fall of '03. Started dating December '03. And we just kept making it work :)
7. What kind of books do you read?
Looooots. Most recently the Black dagger Brotherhood series, Sookie Stackhouse series, currently reading an anthropological work titled "Birthing a Mother" about surrogacy in Israel. I also enjoy religious/theological books.
8. How do you see yourself in 10 years?
That would make me 35 so... hopefully with kids, a house and a job I am enjoying working at.
9. What’s your fear?
As in my greatest fear? Falling from a tall height but not dieing immediately on impact, having to lay there in agony and die slowly. General fears, I don't like spiders.
10. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to see outer space?
Well, I hate flying in a normal plane, so I think a space ship would be even worse so.... seeing space isn't really listed on my "bucket list" so I will go with no. But there are other things I would give up junk food for.
11. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Let the dogs outside, pee, step on the scale, write the number on the calendar to track my weight loss.
12. If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be?
I wish he would help out with chores more. But I know it's a guy thing...
13. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
Nah, I like my name. Although I remember in the 1st grade wishing my name was "Zebra" What was I thinking?! Hahahaha!
14. If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose?
I would choose rain :) I miss the Northwest, nice temperate climate and plenty of green.
15. If you could have one skill that you don't currently have, what would it be?
I wish I was better with budgeting. And making soup.
16. What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most?
I'm copying this from Josey because she summed it up so well: The friendships and support and understanding you all have for my (our) situations. You're amazing.
17. Do you prefer salty or sweet foods?
Sweet. But not too sweet.
18. What items are in your purse right now?
wallet. eyeglasses. sunglasses. pen. random assorted receipts.
19. If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go?
Beach. I grew up boating and miss it!
20. What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn’t?
Technically we don't have cable so anything I watch I have to watch via internet, or rent the DVD's. I probably shouldn't watch any of it, but here is my guilty pleasure list: America's Next Top Model, Hellcats, Big Bang Theory, True Blood... I've seen snippets of Vampire Diaries and How I Met Your Mother and think I would like to watch those too.
The four people I tag are: Um, I don't know enough people in blogland yet to tag them. So feel free to do this just for fun :)
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