Friday, March 4, 2011

A weird conversation

Today I went with my friend T to her riding lesson today, and as she was warming up her trainer and I got to talking.  We have met a few times when I have been hanging out with T so generally speaking, I like her.  She asked me if I was thinking of buying a horse again and I explained that was highly unlikely at the moment since we were trying to start a family and were pursuing surrogacy because we couldn't have a baby ourselves.  Her response?

"Oh, yeah, I've thought that that's how I would do it when I have kids!  I wouldn't want to have to stop riding, it's my livelihood."

Now, I understand riding horses is her sole means of income.  And as far as I am aware she isn't dating anyone and I know she isn't married.  And is not really considering having kids in the near future. But... Seriously?!  That is the exact stereotype we are trying to fight against, wealthy women hiring surrogates for aesthetic reasons.

I was struck dumb you guys.  Seriously, no words.  I mumbled something about how we really wanted to try to have a baby ourselves but couldn't, and then changed the subject.

(On a side note, I know that riding during pregnancy is a highly debated topic.  If I was pregnant?  I probably would ride for as long as I felt able, but there is some concern about the jarring of the trot/jog causing damages.  And of course if you will be doing any jumping or working with unknown/fractious horses there is real concerns with falling/kicking etc.  A trainer [especially this trainer would be doing jumping and working with unknown horses] would be wise to limit riding during pregnancy although I would think she could continue teaching lessons)


  1. To me it sounds like the ramblings of someone who has perhaps only given it a cursory thought, and not really seriously considered it. I get pretty 'soapbox'-ish when I'm around people like that. Ugh... I despise ignorant comments like that.

  2. It's true. I talked about it was T and she is convinced that it was said lightheartedly as a joke. But STILL! Oh well.

  3. Wow. I hear similar comments from (fertile) people who say they won't get pregnant, they'll "just adopt" because there are so many kids who need a home/because they don't want to be pregnant/because they don't want to bring more carbon-producing people into the world/whatever. Those are the kind of people who find out what the process entails (and the cost) and then realize it's just easier to get knocked up the old-fashioned way.
    Yeah, they have plenty of opinions, because they've never had to make these decisions!