Saturday, March 5, 2011

Clarifying Some Points

So after a lot of stress and over-analyzing the impending conversation with our priest, we survived completely intact.

I don't know why I have to worry so much sometimes.

It really was a great chance to clarify a number of points/issues/questions both Scott and I had.  I asked about Father S's statement that the church didn't have a stance.  While the Orthodox church doesn't have anything strictly written out, generally theologians disagree with surrogacy.  But Father M explained it is NOT a sin, or bad or evil and it doesn't make us bad people. (YIPPEE!) A lot of what the conversation came down to was the fact that 1-he is walking into our journey nearly 2 years in.  He hasn't seen us patiently waiting, praying etc.  He hasn't seen the emotional, psychological, spiritual roller coaster we have been on.  And 2- his greatest concern is that we are keeping the focus on God, and being obedient and open to His Will.

Both Scott and I walked away with a better understanding, and also feeling good about moving forward with surrogacy.  I honestly can't imagine going back to the obsessive charting, multiple vaginal ultrasounds a month, forced sex etc.  It is worth is - if I really thought it would help.  But it was really hard on our marriage and at this point we feel like if the two of us are going to conceive it will be 100% a God thing and will happen whether or not we make ourselves miserable trying so hard.

Did pretty good on the diet front and went for a walk with my friend Bee this afternoon :)  Now I just wanna curl up and sip some hot cocoa (ok, not really Paleo, but I WANT some comfort food-thing) and chill out.  Being stressed is really exhausting.

Of course then I get to thinking that my mom will be here about a week and the stress comes back.  But that's a worry for another day.

Oh- and my roommate is being really annoying and opening/closing a drawer or closet repeatedly.  It's actually probably her 2 year old daughter, but stop the kid!  I can hear it downstairs and it is obnoxious.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad the conversation with your priest went well. I can imagine that meeting would have been stressful walking into.