Monday, February 14, 2011

A little background... OK, a long background

Here is a little back story for everyone's enjoyment.

My name is Kira, and I have been married to my husband Scott for over 3 years at this point.  We have no children, but do have 3 dogs, all Pembroke Welsh Corgis.  The oldest Radar is 12, Glen is 4, and Emma is 3.

A year and a half ago, we decided to start trying to get pregnant.  I read the books, charted my cycles, and waited for conception to happen.  After 6 months of charting, I noticed that my basal body temperature did not have the appropriate temperature fluctuations, and went to see my OBGYN.  She would not refer me to a specialist until we had been trying for a year.  I decided I didn't want to waste another 6 months, and so called up the local fertility clinic.  After numerous blood draws, and looking at my 6 months of charting, they decided that I don't ovulate naturally.  Clomid and HCG injections to the rescue!  In July of 2010 we got pregnant, but quickly miscarried.  To say that was a difficult time would be an understatement.  After grieving and healing, we began to try again, without success.  My doctor decided to run more diagnostics, but couldn't find a reason for our inability to conceive.  Scott and I felt that if we couldn't find the problem, we couldn't fix it, and instead of continuing to put money into expensive and invasive diagnostics, or medications, we decided to pursue using a surrogate.

I met Rachel a couple months back through a mutual friend.  We really clicked, and began hanging out.  During my fertility journey I have had many options put before me.  Adoption.  IVF.  Surrogacy.  I was blessed to have a number of friends offer to be surrogates, but Scott and I didn't feel that it would be a good match... Until a fateful lunch I had with Rachel.  She was the third friend to offer... but the first who had really put a lot of thought into what that meant, what it entailed.  We had a good conversation talking about generalities of surrogacy, and the conversation stayed in my mind.

When I got the news the doctor couldn't find anything wrong, I was disappointed.  I had hoped they would find some small problem that could be easily fixed and we could move forward with making a family.  But when I considered the possibility of Rachel being our surrogate I felt... Excited.  Optimistic.  In a way I haven't felt since that very beginning when I was charting my cycles and making all kinds of graphs.  I know I'm going to miss out on some wonderful things.  Feeling the baby kick for the first time, feeling life inside of me.  But the most important thing, a beautiful little baby, is such an amazing thing.  For me it is about Scott and I being a family.  My heart warms every time I think of it.

We decided to pursue a Traditional Surrogacy for a number of reasons.  We are Orthodox Christians, and believe that life begins at conception.  So for us, the use of IVF wasn't on the table.  With many IVF cycles producing 5-10 embryos we couldn't possibly ask anyone to try inserting all of them, and we can't leave them frozen or dispose of them.  Scott and I have seriously considered adoption, so I know without a doubt that I can love a child regardless of biology and DNA.

This may not be a traditional family, but it is going to be a wonderful one!

Rachel and I sat down tonight to begin outlining our contract (did I mention she does Family Law?  Irony!) and with each issue and point, I was excited to find us both on such similar pages.  Scott unfortunately was out of town for work, so he's getting an email of everything, but if we can get all the details figured out this week we will be looking at an ICI this weekend!

With Scott out of town, and Rachel's boyfriend also out of town, we were each others Valentines.  Chocolate covered strawberries and Chinese food along with the movie "Crazy Heart" sounds like a great evening to me!

I'm giddy with excitement!!!!

1 comment:

  1. Wow. Sounds like things have really fallen into place for you - and it's refreshing to hear how calm, accepting, and excited you are about your next big step. Good luck to all three of you!