Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Why? Why? Why? Why? WhyWhyWhyWhyWhy?

I thought I should take a second to explain WHY we chose surrogacy over a multitude of options.

I think most people assume that if a couple cannot get pregnant, they should adopt.  And we considered adopting, we really did.  But there were a number of reasons we didn't pursue it.

First of all, we wont qualify.  The income requirements state we have to make more than we do currently.  Secondly, currently we live with a roommate and while that will end this summer, we can't pursue adoption until after we have moved in order to pass the home inspection. Thirdly, I have some real fears of infant adoption.  There have been too many stories of birth mothers changing their minds at the last minute and the adopting parents have to start all over again.  I cannot imagine the heartache. 

So we considered international adoption, or toddler adoption, but I don't want to miss out on the first two years of my childs life.  Maybe as an option for a second child, but I want the whole experience of them discovering the world.  Going back to domestic infant adoptions, there are also concerns associated with how healthy the birth mother is.  Often they do drugs or drink alcohol while pregnant because they don't know they are pregnant.  And finally, the waiting list for domestic infant adoption can take years.

I'm not saying that adoption is bad.  I applaud all families that pursue it!  It just isn't right for us right now.

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