Scott didn't get home yesterday. It's a long story but he got stuck up in Wyoming and while he hopes to get home today, there are no guarantees. But I know I married a good man - two of his crew that he is supervisor of were with him, and only one needed to stay so he sent those two home. As much as he really dislikes his job he has a strong sense of work ethics and practices what he preaches. We got hit with snow last night so pray that he gets home safely!
And on another note about the stupid snow: Rachel and I are supposed to go to Denver tonight for a concert. Hello, roads, we need to drive over an hour south on you! It's not just that it snowed. In Colorado we get snow. A lot more snow than we even got last night. The problem is it was warm for a few days so when the snow first fell it melted.... and now there is ice beneath that snow. And the couple days of warm weather is surely to have made a lot of people forget how to drive in snow and ice and there are going to be a lot of morons out there to contend with.
Rachels test this morning was negative. Which I know doesn't really mean anything, but I must admit I was secretly really hoping for a positive even this ridiculously early. We still have over a week before her expected cycle day 1 so lots of time to hang out on my pins-and-needle. Joy.
(On a side note, I wish people were like cats. None of this once-a-month business. They go through months of "fertile periods" and because they are induced ovulaters, stimulation of the vagina causes them to drop eggs like confetti on parade. Ok, I don't want a litter, but you get my gist)
And to top it off I had a crummy conversation with my mom Wednesday night that has been percolating in the back of my head and am only now thinking of all the things I wished I had said.
Don't get me wrong, I love my mom. She always has good intentions. She always wanted the best for her kids. But I'm just going to go ahead and admit that I'm a "daddy's girl". Not in the obnoxious spoiled way, but my dad is super laid back and doesn't tend to get worked up very easily. My mom on the other hand gets very passionate about stuff and sometimes in her enthusiasm for something doesn't think through the implications of her questioning. On Wednesday, my mom started in with the "are you sure you really want kids? They scream and cry, are you ready to be up all night with a crying baby, because you know Scott will need to sleep because he has to go to work" etc etc.
Now, I realize that some things about parenting cannot be fathomed or appreciated until you are one. But I have been a nanny. And my roommate has a 2-year-old and when we moved in together her daughter was just 6 months old, and before that we were neighbors when her child was born. So while it's not my child, I know about diapers, groceries, and sick and fussy babies. A friend just yesterday introduced me to Resolve. How I have I been IF for a year and a half without finding this source in all my random infertility googeling??? If you don't know what it is, check out this link specifically for friends and family of infertile people:
Now how do I share this link with my mom without coming across as a terrible daughter? I know she says this stuff because she cares, but I can't figure out how to tell her how much it HURTS. (Partially because she will get upset, and then make some statement like "Well then I just wont say anything" which is just annoying)
Just so you people don't think we have a terrible relationship I will now list some of my best mom-daughter memories from my childhood:
-she made me a Belle costume from Beauty and the Beast. My neighbor friends mom also made her one but mine was SO MUCH BETTER. My mom is really excellent at sewing.
-she taught me how to cook: she always welcomed me in the kitchen even though I sometimes made big messes and ruined food (let's not talk about the time I "marinated" really good steak in straight cayenne pepper...)
-she took me to disneyland. A lot. When I know she would have rather taken me to Australia or something but me being a kid thought that theme park was way cooler than any exotic country.
-she also took me to exotic countries. Hello Bahamas! I must admit I didn't appreciate that trip as much as I should have, again being young and ignorant.
-she never missed a show. I was heavily involved in choirs and plays starting in junior high. And she was always there cheering me on, usually with flowers. (My dad was/is a workaholic so he often was late or missed them altogether)
-my mom let me grow up. I had a friend who's mom was still dressing her in little-girl clothes in 5th grade. My mom took me to the mall and taught me how to apply makeup without looking trashy. It was all age-appropriate, but she showed me high heels and cute clothes.
There are a lot more, but that is what came to mind first. So all that to say, don't judge me for venting a bit on my own blog. I love my mom but she also knows exactly what buttons to push on me to frustrate the ever-living-daylight out of me.