Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Monsters

-If you are here for ICLW please start by reading my post written on Sunday the 20th that gives an overview of my journey)-

When we were kids we were terrified of there being monsters under beds, in closets, hiding in shadow.  But then we grew up and stopped believing in such silly childish things.  That was very very stupid.  As adults, and as infertiles, we have come to realize that monsters are real.  They are out there.  And they are scary. 

I am talking about The Infertility Monster.

(I'll wait while you turn on the lights and hide under a blankie)

When I picture this particular beast, the basic framework is from Allie's "Alot". (Her blog has nothing to do with infertility, but is it HIGH-larious.  It has made me have giggle fits, complete with snorting, crying and snot dribble.  Scott will look at me like I'm some crazy lunatic and I will attempt to explain what is so funny by reading her post but due to my sniffling/snorting/dog-whistle-high-pitch-squeaky-voice it really doesn't help my attempt to convince him of my sanity.)  Check out her post at:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
I have read every post she has ever written, and even go back and re-read them because they are JUST THAT FUNNY

(I'll wait while you go and read...)

Ok, for all you lazy folks who have decided to deprive yourselves of a good laugh, I will go on with my "Alot of Infertility"  It has the body of a yak, with bear paws and a giant round head.  My Alot has 3 CrAzY eyes and horns and drools like a MoFo. You simotaneously understand how serious and scary this critter is but also can laugh at it (Because if it was 100% scary like something from "Aliens" then how could I possible have the bravery to fight it???)

This monster will jump out when you least expect it, running wild, rampaging and destroying your home and relationships, not to mention your wallet, body and psyche.  It has some routine ways of attacking (MFI, PCOS...) but sometimes it tries a surprise sneak attack (Unexplained IF) We do our best to repair the damages (Lap, drugs...), or fortify against attacks (vitamins, exercise, herbs, aromatherapy, acupuncture) but there is no solid 100% way to destroy this beasty known to our current military (AKA modern medicine)

Sometimes though we see evidence that someone has injured it (and now it's running amok with a spear in it's bum, but hey it's injured so someone tackle the thing!!!) such as Elphie and AP  (You GO girls!) and are on their way to subduing it completely. (There will be much rejoicing, traditional dancing and face painting to the tune of "The Witch Is Dead")

I invite you all to draw/sketch/sculpt this Alot of Infertility (or however you picture this creature that MUST be destroyed!) and share it with me and I will post them up on here.

5 comments:

  1. You're silly. :)

    To link within a post, highlight and copy the web address of what you're linking to... then go to your window that you're composing the post in, highlight the word you want to hyperlink, then click the word "link" along the top of the window. You'll paste the web address into the space and click ok. Voila!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Josey, I'll use that next time!

    This is what my mind came up with while I was super-insomniac last night. When I got up for the day I decided it made me chuckle so I would share it with blogosphere.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love your analogy of IF as a monster... it certainly is !!! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm thinking of St. George and the Dragon...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Kira,

    I wish you luck with all you are doing...the surrogacy and the Paleo weight loss.

    Lisa (ICLW #112)

    ReplyDelete